1000 Years of Annoying the French by Stephen Clarke Bantam Press HK$221
Stephen Clarke's alternative views of history should turn readers of his book into maddening contrarians. Describe baguettes and croissants as French, for example, and a convert would say: 'Actually, they were Austrian.' Praise the French for their bubbly, and you'll be told how 'Champagne is English in all but name'. Whereas Dom Perignon despaired about his fizz, the English saw the fun in sparkly wine once they developed sturdier bottles that didn't explode. In dispelling other myths, 1000 Years tells tales about French icons in a way no French textbook would present them. The French abandoned Joan of Arc to her fate, Clarke writes, explaining that the English burned her, 'but the people who made sure she ended up tied to the stake were Frenchmen'. William the Conqueror (a Norman who hated the French), Mary Queen of Scots and Louis XIV are given chapters, as is Voltaire 'who thought more of Britain than France'. 1000 Years is a scrapbook about scrapping, says Clarke, although at the end he says that the French and Anglos share such a long common history that 'we are like family'.
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